Author Archives: Bee Jay

About Bee Jay

I'm Bee Jay (Bhasha Jhangi), student of class XII Biology, I belong to Thar Desert of Pakistan. I am a blogger, writer, debater and stage compare.

The ways to deal with liars – LifestyleGuru

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Dear readers, I hope you have enjoyed my previous post “To Overcome Your Overthinking | Causes and Solutions of Overthinking“. Today i would like to share an important topic “The ways to deal with liars” with you, hope you will share your feedback.

It would not be wrong to say that we are all liars. We often lie most of the time but sometimes, we have good reasons or as we don’t wanna hurt the feelings or we have better intentions but what to do when you face a compulsive liar. There are also such people whose day start and end with telling lies. Most of the people tell lie to make themselves superior or to get what they wished for and some because of they have trust over what they are saying.

The ways to deal with liars

Most of us face certain liars and the point is how to deal with liars? After a lot of research, I have brought before you, these tips, which will help you in dealing with liars.

1. Recognize when the person is lying

It is not that much difficult to recognize, when someone is lying. when someone is trying to hit you hard. Can let you know how serious the issue can be? First let yourself know, how that person behaves, while telling lies? Notice him/her complete; the way of talking, the body language everything. After noticing; you will be able to read that person well enough to keep that person in talks when he/she is lying.

Check the person’s behavior and body language when you ask him something about himself or herself. And then, compare the behavior with the actions of a person. When a more difficult question is asked from him or her. If the person is true then there would be no any stress of changing his or her behavior, when any difficult question is asked.

Read This [6 things you can do to boost self-confidence]

Forget about the saying that, liar person avoids eye contact, because nowadays everyone is aware of this and there’s why because of this myth most of the liar make eye contact.

When any person tells lies then he exhibits stressful physical signs. Here we are some of them:

When a person lies;
~ then he/she will speak loudly (or a higher-pitched voice).
~ he/she smiles only by his or her mouth not by eye.
~ he/she slowly blinks and after covering the lie will continuously blink.
~ then he/she will surely cover his or her mouth or nose or I mean he will touch his face over and over again.
~ he/she will have antsy foot movement

2. Look for the pattern, in the lie of the person

Most of the people tell lies about certain mistakes or their past behavior or about those things which make them embarrassed or last for certain things which make them uncomfortable. If the person is continuously answering the question asked about certain topics, then at the time you just want to back off and stop going deep in that particular issue and you know you have to face a very big problem if the liar has no any particular reason with no any pattern you can make out.

Read This [Some small things that matter a lot – LifestyleGuru]

If a person continuously lies then just answer them certain questions like, why you don’t talk to a certain person? Why don’t you like kids? Who is important for you? Or anything related to their life than we can see that the answers you get that would be none of your business. Anyway, unless you ask certain questions like with whom you are committed? It is like through that you are not that much necessary to know every single thing about anyone’s life.

On the other hand, most of the people just lie for the sake of their benefit.

3. Determine whether the person lies are harmful

It feels so bad, when someone tells you to lie but some of them lie or the worst one for you then some of the others. Before going on firstly figure out how you and other people are affected by the lie.

~ You know it would be a big deal, if that person is telling lies to protect himself on herself.
~ The problem, which needs more attention is that if that person is lying to manipulate other then another person should react to what liar is saying not about what he lied.
~ The behavior would have a high negative impact if the person tells lies to protect himself from bad behavior (like stealing robbery and hurting someone for any purpose).

4. Talk to the person privately

You know talking to liars in public and confronting him or her is not a good decision because it would seem as humiliating to that person. So, therefore, talking to that person privately and informing him or her that you know he or she is lying, is a better way.
Whenever you talk that person does not directly call them a lair. First talk to that person very gently.

5. Give the liar chance to explain the lie

First, notice the body language to know about more signs about the lie and in a case. If that person admits that he or she is lying, then you don’t need to do anything. If he or she apologizes, discuss the whole matter and end up with saying you hope that the thing would not happen again. Let that person also know that your trust has been lost but still you want to give the person a chance to move. Let that person feel guilty. but be careful while talking to that person. don’t use such harsh words. Be polite and help the person if he or she needs, but if the person is wrong then just leave that person.

6. Protect yourself from being harmed and keep in mind that you don’t have the power to change another behavior

It would seem like emotional torture when you deal with a liar. good liars are more believable so don’t get too much in the lie protect yourself, you just cannot read that what’s happening or going on in someone’s head so don’t think that you have the power to change another’s behavior. That is only in the hand of that person there is absolutely nothing you can do about that.

Conclusion

Always speak nothing but the truth no matter how bitter it is. But it would have a good result.

Always remember, Only GOD is perfect nothing else. Don’t wait for perfect, take the hand and make it perfect for your relationship. (Lifestyle Guru)

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Invitation for 30 Days 30 Blog Challenge for May 2020

Last Updated: April 25, 2020

To Overcome Your Overthinking | Causes and Solutions of Overthinking

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Dear readers, I hope you have enjoyed my previous post “6 things you can do to boost self-confidence“. Today i would like to share an important topic “To overcome your overthinking and the causes and solutions of overthinking” with you, hope you will share your feedback.

Overthinking

As it is clear by the word that overthinking means thinking too much. Overthinking is like just continuously thinking of things instead of doing or acting them. You are overthinking; If you are repeating your thoughts over again and again but you are not doing that. Overthinking prevent you from making progress in life, it prevents you from doing new things. over-thinking just consumes your energy and time but there is no benefit of overthinking. In over-thinking thinking whenever any minor problem comes in front of you it makes you feel bigger and scarier than an actual one.

Causes and Impacts of Overthinking

Overthinking impacts much on your emotional regulation and sleep pattern and it makes your life harder to enjoy. Over-thinking bounds you in certain thoughts which are completely useless to think of, it is just like you are connected to any pole with rope and you are continuously going in circles again and again. You are not stepping forward you are held in a past pattern.

Overthinking is caused by self-doubts or by Low self-esteem. it is also caused by anxiety, stress, depression, and demotivation. Overthinking spoils all your inner peace. All of your happiness disappears in a single moment due to overthinking.

Read This [Some Small Things That Matter A Lot]

Now the question arises that what type of thoughts you face in over-thinking. Are they positive and beneficial or they are negative and harmful? So, it depends on the situation or on the thing that you are thinking about. You can judge which type of thoughts they are (but most of the time these thoughts just seem to be positive but are not in real life).

Most of the time people don’t admit that they are over-thinker. It feels shameful to hear that you are over-thinker and this thought came in your mind is also due to over-thinking. I am also an overthinker and I proudly admit it because it’s not a crime to be an over-thinker. Overthinking is also a part of our life. I am used to be an overthinker for a long time but now I am also able to deal with over-thinking.

Side effects of overthinking and how to control 

Now I am gonna share with you some of the side effects of overthinking and how to control overthinking.

What happens when you are over-thinker? Instead of finding solutions you continuously think of any event or any person or of any problem something happened in your past which hits you hard. Instead of reacting you just keep overthinking and can’t get it out from your mind.

Read This [Organic foods are healthier | Eat to cope with current pandemic]

What if? or why? these are not only words, but these are just like your enemies because these words make your bad situation into the worst one. Even if something that happens in a minor thing you will think like that is the worse than anything else.

Now you have entered into the world of negative thoughts. Welcome here;

Now you are fully concerned over your past mistakes, whatever you have done in your past. or about your current problems and leads to negative outcomes.

Read This [The signs that you are wasting your life]

In over-thinking, you just have your new image which isn’t really true your every word or thought would be completely different than the actual one.
Above all are the signs of overthinkers.

To overcome your overthinking

Notice when you are overthinking accept it that you cannot take medicine without knowing about the disease so same here without accepting you just can’t overcome the over-thinking so first you must be aware that when you over-thinking. start thinking about the way you overthink and when you feel that you are continuously thinking over only one thing and you are unable to control that thought than just tell yourself that those aren’t productive.

Accept it

Always accept that you are an overthinker because sometimes it also happens like that you start pretending that you aren’t an overthinker and this happens when someone continuously says that you are over-thinking and stop it. Even if you are not over-thinking at the moment so in such a situation you just start pretending that you aren’t so first please accept that you are.

Point out

Now point out all of those things which you think of or those every thought which you overthink about and keep them with you. So, it will help you a lot because it is like a mirror for you whenever you look in that so always keep an eye on yourself keeping a diary is the best thing you can do.

Meditation

It is time to keep yourself calm and control your mind. So, meditation is the best way to control your mind. First go to any peaceful place or just go to your room and start doing breathing exercise do it for 10 minutes and follow this every day. It is much beneficial to keep you calm.

Avoid them

Whenever you are feeling like you are overthinking just avoid them and start doing something. You know you just overthink when you are completely free so engage yourself in any work and then give your complete concentration on them. Or start moving like go on to a walk and focus on your walk keep your mind out of that thoughts and give a look to your surroundings. It will help you in two ways one is you stop overthinking and second is it increases your observation power.

Always remember, Only GOD is perfect nothing else. Don’t wait for perfect, take the hand and make it perfect for your relationship. (Lifestyle Guru)

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Invitation for 30 Days 30 Blog Challenge for May 2020

Last Updated: April 22, 2020

6 things you can do to boost self-confidence

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Dear readers, I hope you have enjoyed my previous post “12 Things you should be grateful – Lifestyle Guru“. Today i would like to share an important topic “6 things you can do to boost self-confidence” with you, hope you will share your feedback.

The Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is our biggest weapon. We can do anything if we have will to do or if we are confident of doing. Confidence is not a thing with whom we are born. It is the only thing that we have to create by ourselves. No one is born with everlasting self-confidence and if there is someone who is fully self-confident then it means he or she had worked a lot to boost up that self-confidence. It is the only thing which we learn to build otherwise nowadays the life which we live in generally affects our self-confidence much.

Read This [Some Small Things That Matter A Lot]

You know every single thing in our surroundings can dwindle our self-confidence. For Example, any negative response or any rejection or a failure or a simple negative comment from any of a person can hit us hard (if the person is your closest one then it can be breaking you). The second factor can be us. You know most of the time we are ourselves doubting. As we constantly tell us that we are not that good enough. As there are so many things which lower your self-confidence then you should also be aware of these things which boost up your confidence.

6 things you can do to boost self-confidence

Following are the described in details the 6 things that you can do to boost up your self-confidence.

Visualize yourself as you want to be

A famous personality once quotes that “what the mind can convenience and believe it can achieve”

To visualize yourself as what you want to be or to visualize yourself as a person whom you are proud of is the best technique to Boost Your Self-Confidence. So, therefore always visualize yourself as what you want to be.

Affirm yourself

Nikki Carnevale said once that “affirmation is a powerful tool to deliberately install desired beliefs after yourself”

we always behave with our self-images and the way to make effective changes in yourself is only one is to change yourself. These affirmations are those positive statements that you say to yourself and they are much effective when you tell yourself loudly. We always believe the things which are constantly said about our-self, you know it is a bitter truth that even you would start hating yourself if you constantly heard something wrong about you.

Read This [Organic foods are healthier | Eat to cope with current pandemic]

Always divert your brain to a positive thought don’t think that it is impossible to be positive at all times. There is a simple trick to keep yourself positive is start asking your self-questions like why am I so good to encourage others? instead of saying that “I am good at encouraging others” our brain is an amazing device to seek the answer to every question which arises in our mind even without analyzing whether the question is right or wrong.

Do one thing which scares you every day

Here I will share my most favorite quote that once T.Har Eker said “If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.”!

You know if you are scared of anything then there is only one thing which you can do to overcome it is only to face that. Always get out of your comfort zone and face your every single fear, it is very beneficial for you. Facing such things which scare you boost your confidence. Facing your fears increases your self-belief and your increased self-belief is directly proportional to your self-confidence. Therefore, always face your every fear.

Question your inner critic

Louis L.Hay Quote that “Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

Most of the harshest comment we get from our self that is our inner critic. when you inter critic becomes overactive and inaccurate then there is more possibility of low confidence. It is very necessary to get rid of these critic thoughts because they are the biggest factor that lowers your self-confidence. to get rid of the inner critic just ask yourself the question ask yourself for the proof that, is there any evidence which proves your inner critic true? always encourage yourself, always be proud of yourself, reward yourself and find the opportunity to congratulate yourself compliments.

Set yourself up to win

Denis Waitley said, “to establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives”.

You know, why you are discouraged about your abilities. Because most of the time it is like you choose such goals that are unachievable. Always start with choosing such goals that are easy to win by yourself. Always built a stream of success which can make you feel good about yourself and always keep a list of your every single achievement because in such Condition when you are suffering from the low self-confidence then you can easily look at that list when you have done well and it will boost up your self-confidence. always take care of yourself because self-confidence also depends on your good physical health and emotional health and create your boundaries.

Shift to an equality mentality

Marilyn Monroe said that “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the time.”

It is a general fact that most of the time we all spent by comparing us with others and even none of you can deny it. it is the biggest mistake which lowers self-confidence. everyone takes this perception that other people are more deserving than yourselves. Stop thinking this, you know just this perception makes you feel down always see yourself as being equal to everyone. You are most deserving than them, make you feel that. shift your thoughts towards equality mentality and this shift will automatically boost up your confidence.
You know it is very hard to boost up your self-confidence than to lowers it, but it is also true that it is very easy to boost up. Everything in your surroundings inspires you if you take it positively. Always be confident of yourself, always be positive and live a happy life.

Always remember, Only GOD is perfect nothing else. Don’t wait for perfect, take the hand and make it perfect for your relationship. (Lifestyle Guru)

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Last Updated: April 18, 2020

12 Things you should be grateful – LifestyleGuru

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Dear readers, I hope you have enjoyed my previous post “Ways to overcome negative thoughts – Lifestyle Guru“. Today i would like to share an important topic “12 Things you should be grateful” with you, hope you will share your feedback.

You know there are a lot of things which are wrong in our life which we want to change but in making these changes. We mostly forget to be grateful for things which we have we just love to focus much on negative things than positive ones. It is the biggest problem that we just always think of getting more and forget the things which we already have. it is the most important thing which we don’t take care of. We should always be grateful for every single thing which we have in our life.

12 Things you should be grateful

Here I have brought a list of things which are the most important ones.

Your life

Life is the biggest gift of our life. Now it doesn’t matter how good or bad it is, but it is you are the biggest blessing. You should always be grateful for your life because they are so many other people who don’t get a chance to live life as they want. There are so many people who die every year due to diseases, poverty, famines, and droughts but you were lucky that you got a chance to live more to survive and the dream more so, therefore, be grateful for your life.

Your situation

You are reading my blog it proves that you are already in a better situation you should be grateful for this because thousands of people are dying or there are thousands of people who are struggling for living normal life. you are so lucky that you are not in such situation. So, you should be grateful.

Your friend

Friends are also another blessing they are just like our family. Friends are just like your shadow, your tears, your smile, your laughter and so on. A friendship is a priceless relationship you should be grateful for. Because there are a lot of people who haven’t any friend and they are the one who knows the true meaning of friendship. Be grateful to your friends.

Your parents

You know you are in this world that is just because of your parents. They gave you this life to live. They support you, encourages you in your hard times, cares for you for the rest of life. I agree that all parents are not that much good but still, they are the one reason for your presence so be grateful to your parents for everything for their strength, for their undying love and for every single thing they did for you.

Your teachers

It is said that teachers are our second parents. There is a famous saying that is “our parent just give us birth, but the teachers teach us the true meaning of life and correct as”. A teacher is the one who motivates us. A teacher does everything for us and the best point is he doesn’t ask for anything in the return from you. Be grateful to your teacher. You are living in a respectful and amazing life that is just because of your teacher who taught you.

Your siblings

The sibling is the best thing that could ever happen to you, they are your first and last best friends. They are your biggest support system, before your friends. Siblings are your shoulders in your sad movements. They are always on your side in every situation. So be grateful for them too.

Above mentioned are those people your meet then in your life. They are the most important person in your life, and you should be grateful for them, but it does not over here, now I will define those things which you have before your birth to the rest of your life. They are your body parts, you just can’t live without them, so you should always be grateful for them too.

Your Heart:

It is the blessing because your whole life depends upon your heart. It is your biggest support system your heart has all of your emotions, your heart is your spirit to live no matter how wounded, scared or hurt or healed it is but still it will be your strength to live. no matter how much your heart bears but it still bounces back. You know your life could be in danger if your heart just stops beating for a second. So be grateful for your heart.

Your mind

It controls your all activities. It is responsible for everything; your mind is responsible for your dreams, your hopes and all your thoughts. Your mind makes you a different person from others. Your mind makes who you are so always be grateful for your mind.

Your senses

Be always grateful to your senses because without them you are unable to see, to feel, to define beauty to taste delicious food. just think once what if you become blind or deaf or you just think of misery if you couldn’t be able to taste. See how it sounds when I just said to think. Now imagine if those who are senseless so be grateful for these senses.

Your life lessons/mistakes

Your mistakes are the biggest achievement of your life. they teach you to be a better person than the previous one. This mistake helps you to grow and to learn and to understand. Through these mistakes, you get your life’s biggest lessons. A lesson Can Be Anything it can be learnt by anyone even or by a very little thing. life lessons can be the one which you experience and with every lesson, you got one new step ahead. This makes you perfect so should you always be grateful to your mistakes and of the lessons taught in life.

Your tears or disappointed

Your tears are the biggest weapon you know. That makes you even stronger. Tears carry all of your emotions out of your body and make you feel lighter and relaxed just imagine of that time when you was very disappointed and you thought to give up and you thought that now your heart is just unable to take any more and now look at the current situation you are happy and even better now. So be grateful for your tears and to your disappointments, they made you a better person.

Your happiness

You are lucky that you are happy, and you are laughing while there are so many people who are craving for happiness. So be grateful for your happiness, it is the biggest blessing.

These all are a few things which I have mentioned but there are a lot of other things too which u should be grateful of.

Always remember, Only GOD is perfect nothing else. Don’t wait for perfect, take the hand and make it perfect for your relationship. (Lifestyle Guru)

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Last Updated: April 15, 2020

Ways to overcome negative thoughts – LifestyleGuru

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The environment impacts our lifestyle, so we always spent more time thinking about our failure, successes and plan for future lifestyle. Our mind creates so many thoughts like I love my life, I hate my life, thinking about future success, thinking about death, future life, happiness, anxiety, etc. Also, the eradication of negative thoughts is the wish of everyone. My previous topic “What things that make you happy” was the series of the same topic. Today I would like to move one step ahead to share with you the ways to overcome negative thoughts, the simple seven ways will guide you to overcome negative thoughts and improve positive energy around you.

Thoughts and Mind

Most of the time, which we spend with ourselves is good for us. But somehow, it is not as good as we think. Spending time in our mind is like living in the thoughts and in that situation, we are not able to know which type of thoughts they are? When we live in our thoughts it’s like we always worry about our future and the second thought would be of our past event whichever happened to us. And the other part of thoughts would be of certain conditions which don’t satisfy fully which dishearten us. Which leaves are dissatisfied these negative thoughts always prevent you from enjoying your present time, this thought distracts you from focusing on these things which are important for you these negative thoughts make you depressed and anxious?

The negative thoughts will never let you move forward they will always push you back in your past (or simply hold you back from living your life happily) therefore you must control on your mind to overcome negative thoughts.

Ways to overcome negative thoughts

It is very hard to overcome these negative thoughts but here I have brought 7 tips which you follow then you can easily overcome these negative thoughts.

Firstly, Recognize These Thoughts

It is the foremost way to overcome these negative thoughts because our mind is a special type of system, which can easily convert us for wrong things or something which isn’t true and thoughts which isn’t true due to negative thoughts. Therefore, it is necessary to first recognize these thoughts and this realization help you to make yourself free of certain in your mind. This reminder helps you to think of those things which you want in your life. There are many types of thought distortions but these four are the most common of all.

Black or white thinking: It is like seeing everything in another way.

Personalizing: It is like blaming yourself for every single thing which goes wrong in this condition we are just adding another stage which is like a flower doesn’t Bloom then we will blame our self that a flower doesn’t bloom it is because we did something wrong( so silly to think like this we may be responsible for a natural thing).

Filter thinking: It is when we have to choose to see only the negative side of everything. It is like we don’t want to know the right.

Catastrophizing: It is like to think whatever you do has the wrong or worst result.

Challenge These Negative Thoughts

When you can recognize these thoughts when you can easily challenge them whenever you got stuck in these distorted thoughts then stop thinking and think that is it true? Whatever you are thinking it is accurate then just think that if some of you friend is talking in the same what would you do at that situation I am damn sure you will try your best to overcome his or her negative thoughts. Then when you can convince someone else then apply the same formula for yourself to overcome negative thought. Firstly ask yourself and then think of possible results which can be the opposite of what you hope you are thinking of.

Take a break

It is a very easy way to keep you away from these thoughts allow yourself to take a break from certain thoughts (you can just take a few minutes to take a break just avoid everything takes a break off and change your thoughts).

Release Judgment

It is like a part of our routine to judge everything we always judge yourself and others for no reason. It is like me continuously compare the different things with each other even if they don’t have a match still match them. Judgment is just like a habit and this continuous comparison dissatisfied us and then we start to think negatively. In that situation, if you can let go of your judgment then you can feel more relaxed. Always release your negative judgment or you can use and another technique that is positive judgment. Whenever you feel like you are having negative judgment that looks for a positive quality to a positive judgment.

Practice Gratitude

The research has proved that practicing gratitude means being thankful for everything that has a very good impact on your happiness and your positively. Even in the most difficult condition, you should be grateful for every small thing. Notice these small positive things which make you feel happy and always be in touch with them. or another way would that keep a gratitude journal and point out every single positive thing in that and effective way to overcome these negative.

Let it out or take it over

Keeping search negative thoughts in your mind is just like committing suicide. So just let them out go to someone close to your heart, at just let your anger, your feeling, your thoughts about talking to someone and sharing your thoughts is the best way to overcome these negative thoughts.

Start all over again

After following all of this type now you would feel more comfortable and now you can handle yourself and overcome your negative thoughts. Now it’s the time to start all over again. Now be positive, try to find happiness in every single thing not a negative thought.

Always remember, Only GOD is perfect nothing else. Don’t wait for perfect, take the hand and make it perfect for your relationship. (Lifestyle Guru)

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Last Updated: April 12, 2020